Friday, December 05, 2014

Joke of a scammer.

So two days back I received a Facebook message from this account 'Jesslyn Xiong'.
She asked me if I would be interested in a sponsorship.
This is gna be an interesting post guys *giggles to self*


I replied her and at this point of time I didn't really bother to click on her profile, cuz judging from her profile pic she just seems like a normal girl. It didn't even really occur to me that this might be a fake account.
And then, when she replied again telling me it was swimwear I last-seened her and did not reply her message. I was considering if I'd actually be comfortable with that.
Unlike other sponsors I've had before, who would wait for your reply or wouldn't bother already if you had seen their message but stopped replying.
She sent me another message asking me if I'm 'fine with this' because 'they target to mail it to me by christmas'.

I still did not exactly suspect anything, but it was weird.
It's like she was desperate for me to advertise this swimwear for her. Especially when I did not reply and she had to send me another message starting with a 'because', as if she was trying to spark my interest a little or coax me into replying. Get what I'm saying?

So although I did not exactly doubt 'Jesslyn' yet, the suspicion was there.

By the way side track for abit. This is the one thing I cannot stand about scammers. They think that people like me (now i'll put this in a very shallow and general statement).

People who state their opinions openly online,

-By this I'm referring to basically ALL of my statuses. My rants, my complaints, my controversial posts, my opinions, my goals, my expectations, my regrets, my emotional bullshit when I'm upset blahblahblah.

People who has quite a number of followers,

-I'm not saying I'm famous. Let me get this straight right from the start before anyone starts going around saying 'Walao eh this bella choi so thickskin my god' and blah blah blah. I'm saying that having 24k followers on Facebook is not what you see everyday on a typical Singaporean girl.
Yes, I'm being honest and frank.
And to be even more honest, I don't earn anything out of my followers. I don't earn money from Facebook, I don't get any beneficial recognition, nothing. It's just a meaningless number that's there.
So when people think otherwise of me or look at me like I'm some attention-seeking or maybe influential online 'figure' or 'celeb', I really do not like it.

With that stated, moving on,



So I replied her again this time asking what the name of her shop or blogshop was.
But nope, it was actually a company called HUIT.

THE MOMENT I READ THAT, I LAUGHED TO MYSELF INSIDE. LIKE OKAY WHO'S THIS BITCH AGAIN. 
For those who don't know what HUIT is, I took the time to google it.




 NOT only is it hilarious that she claims to be working for HUIT, a france-based company that's famous in the UK with Kate Moss herself wearing their lingerie, but to say that they want to sponsor me, a nobody that's simply infamous online in Singapore. That's just plain dumb.

It instantly gave me the idea like okay this is definitely some stupid sick bastard who went to such an extent to message me faking a sponsorship in hopes of asking me sick questions and getting bikini shots, who probably googled 'Bikini and swimwear companies' when I asked what the name of the store/online shop was and purposely (or maybe just stupidly) told me it was HUIT thinking that if I'd believe it and had googled it, and saw that HUIT was such a successful and famous company, i'd get excited about it and agree instantly or something.

And no, I'm not sexist to assume that it was a male behind this. It was just obvious.
Maybe your definition of obvious differs from mine, but every possible motive that this 'faker' might have all led to the conclusion that it'd be a guy.
If 'Jesslyn' was female, she'd probably be after money. Which was impossible because she told me 'you don't need to pay anything'.

So with that cleared, back to my rant.

Bitch PLEASE. How fucking stupid does he think I am? That was downright INSULTING.
I can't even express in words how insulted I was by him thinking that I was THAT DUMB and that he could actually fool me, or anyone in that case with such a proclamation.
I don't even care if I sound bitchy, but this douchebag has no idea how smart I am.
And how smart I know that I am. Not to brag or whatever as well but I do have an IQ that's above the global average. heh *flips hair* Okay maybe I am bragging, but it is something that I am proud of.
HAHA.
So at this point I just had to reply him to find out who this asshole was.
I figured it would not be that unsafe to give out my number because eventually I could just block him on whatsapp if he were to harass me after or call me or whatever.

NOW I'M NOT SAYING IT'S SAFE TO GIVE OUT YOUR NUMBER TO TOTAL STRANGERS.
But I personally know how to handle it and I've an alternate number that I don't even use that often, which was what I gave him.
Out of plain curiosity and it was necessary as well since I already planned to expose this 'Jesslyn'.





He better be very thankful that I've still got the courtesy to censor his number.
From here onwards I was just replying to entertain this idiot. And it just kept getting better and better.
'If you are fine we will be sponsoring you lingerie wear too'
Wow I didn't know that HUIT, a company that's so fucking huge would be so damn generous to someone who's never shopped at their outlets in her life because I can't afford it (even topshop is overpriced for me) LOL.

My reply was with a hint of sarcasm if you can tell.
Of course there'd be photos my dear little pervert, I mean I shall just reply you with the exact words that you wanna hear so you'd expose more of your perviness for the world to see thank you very much.
And I decided to start with what I'd like to call the 'panic questions'.
Questions you'd ask that make scammers using fake profiles and names panic for awhile, maybe scurry over to google or crack his skull thinking of more lies to answer you with.

Oh and the stupidity of his just got me going even more. Before i even asked where the *ahem* HUIT outlet was based in singapore, I had already googled it and found out that they've only one outlet which is in Mandarin Gallery.




^ look at this stupid pig.
'Physical stall in orchard soon'. Oh no I was enquiring about the psychological stall actually *rolls eyes*
I continued with the panic questions of course, and as I expected.
When you put an answer in your question that you ask these people, they'd happily go along with it because they're too stupid to think of another one themselves, or perhaps because they feel like they've won since you 'believe them' and had already assumed something, it'd be best for them to confirm with you that you're right.

Example: If i were to say "Ohhhh so you're the manager of HUIT?'
He would reply with a 'Yes yes I'm the manager' because I had already stated 'so you're the manager' in my question'.

But if I were to ask 'Ohhhh so who are you? You're working for HUIT or? What's your position?'
He'd be panicking running on google thinking about how to answer me. Get my point here?

What a fucking joke i cannot believe it. *skips around my room* Marketing manager my ass just go kiss a donkey's butt (i didn't wanna type ass twice in a sentence).

HERE COMES THE BEST PART GUYS. The moment he texted me, I immediately facebook searched his number. HAHAHAHAHA TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT THE RESULTS WERE.



I clicked on all of the three profiles. The only one that was singaporean, was yea, you guessed it,
Mr Wu Yaqi.
Well maybe, just maybe, it was some guy that had the same phone number. But what are the odds?
I did screenshot yaqi's profile and laugh at it a little but I shall not post it, I mean if that guy was really innocent and is not the same person, I'd be fucked.
I'll leave it to you guys to search and view it yourselves.

That was why I complimented his 'tattoo' as well on his whatsapp dp.
And of course, as expected again, since i've put an answer in the question I asked him already, acting like I assumed his profile picture was him, he'd go off thanking me and trying to further the conversation, as all sick bastards would.
'How many bikini sets do you have as of now?'

NOW I REALLY DON'T KNOW IF THIS GUY IS REALLY DUMB, LIKE IF HE WANTS TO SCAM SOMEONE AT LEAST USE HIS BRAIN A LITTLE. BUT HE'S ALREADY EXPOSED HIMSELF LONG AGO, DON'T YOU THINK?

What kind of a sponsor, especially if it was HUIT or TOPSHOP or FOREVER21, would ask such personal questions? Are you kidding me? And as his stupidity continued to fly out of proportion, i just got more and more insulted. Like wow, this guy actually thinks i'm THAT dumb.
Bastard.


So I decided to give him a, what I'd like to call 'worrying answer' (worrying towards him). Such as 'Why does that matter?'
If i were him and i read that i'd be like 'Oops maybe I shouldn't have asked that...'
And just look at his stupid answers.

Matter on which sorry to ask, aw how polite of you you sick bastard. Don't be sorry I mean it's not like I was even offended by you talking to me in the first place (:
Just a personal question? Hey bro it seems like your level of intellect is falling down a hole you might wanna chase after it before it dies or maybe jump along with it too.

'Yes cos we need u toilet us know compare to the one u have to our brand for review'

I DON'T EVEN WANNA GET STARTED ON HIS BROKEN ENGLISH THROUGHOUT EVERYTHING.
It gets better guys, IT GETS BETTER.


IN DEPTH SURVEY. HAHAHAHAHAHA.
There goes his perviness flapping (or maybe fapping) about in absent direction.
So I decided like y'know what i'm done with this, I'm just gonna get him to send me all the questions straight so it'd be easier to expose every single one.
And look at him. Look at how nervous he is. 'Haha sure but i'll ask thru here?'
Oh no of course I'd call you with my house phone or something and we can discuss it privately because I'm stupid, no? (:



Hahahahahahahahahaha was all i could say at this point.
Which leads to my final question to him, 'May i tell you a funny story?'
And here it is loser.
BURN.

Pictures of the fake profile he has:





I think it's pretty obvious why I was so convinced that it's fake as well right? 
Quite 'clever' of him to use a foreign girl that's asian as well but still stupid as all of this girl's friends obviously aren't singaporean. No racism or anything, but it's just so damn obvious.
He thinks that by using an asian girl, it'll be more believable.
He went for a girl that obviously isn't singaporean because it's harder to get caught cause probably few or even no one in singapore knows this girl.

Enjoy the story Wu Yaqi, now goodbye and have a nice day. A wonderful day actually. hugs and kisses. XOXO. HAHAHA.













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