FUCKED UP.

I was a bimbotic fuckhead this morning.

I HATE what happened today.
I can't even express how much I hate you. (fine, correction: hate you for now when i'm so utterly pissed off)
I woke up at 5.30 in the morning, traveled down to yio chu kang from clementi, like searched the entire damn effing yio chu fucking kang for your goddamn house because it just had to be in such a fucking ooloo place wtf and i was in heels. -.-
I even boarded the WRONG BUS because the shuttle bus service doesn't operate on Sundays. (THIS IS SUCH A FUCKING BIMBO MOMENT BUT NO IT ISN'T, I REALLY DON'T KNOW MY WAY AROUND YIO CHU KANG)
IN THE END I HAD TO TAKE THE DAMN BUS ALL THE BACK TO YCK AGAIN BECAUSE I ENDED MYSELF UP IN KHATIB (WTF AGAIN) AND I WALKED ALL THE WAY TO YOUR HOUSE FROM THE MRT STATION FOR OVER 1 HOUR. WELL FUCK THAT. THAT'S NOT EVEN 1/10th OF IT.

I can't stand your obsession with SHOUTING.

Like seriously. The moment i got to your place and knocked on your door, i was really happy to see you. It is was your birthday anyway. And the first thing I said was 'happy birthday i love you'.
You smiled, but you just had to go at it again.
'Why you never call before you come??' 'What the fuck?? What time is it?? What you doing here??' 'WHY YOU NEVER CALL ME??' YOU JUST HAD TO START YOUR LITTLE SHOUTING FUCKING STREAK AGAIN.
OH AND YOUR VULGARITIES TOO MAY I EMPHASIZE ON THAT PLS.
EVER SINCE I WAS LIKE...5? 6? 7? I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER.
I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO VULGARITIES EVER SINCE I WAS WATCHING BARNEY.
YOU'RE FOREVER SHOUTING AND SHOUTING AND SHOUTING AND HURLING VULGARITIES AT ME I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I DID WRONG.
YA I OWE YOU A LIVING K I OWE YOU MY FIRST BORN CHILD. WTF.
It's like you HAVE to shout. Even when example you need water or something 'GET ME SOME FUCKING WATER' IT'S LIKE YOU HAVE FUCKING ANGER MANAGEMENT ISSUES.
LIKE YOU'RE POSSESSED BY 100000 HYENAS 24/7.
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?
YOUR THROAT NOT PAIN?!!?!?!!?!?!!? COOL THE FUCK DOWN LAH. I'M NOT 12 13 14 ANYMORE.
I'M FUCKING 18 WOMAN. IF YOU'RE GONNA SHOUT I'M SURE AS HELL GOING TO SHOUT BACK. I HAVE MY FUCKING PRIDE AND DIGNITY TOO RIGHT.
I'M NOT HERE TO BE YOUR 'SHOUTING-BAG'.
YOU GOT ANGER INSIDE OF YOU? GET A FUCKING COUNSELOR.
YOU WANNA RAGE ALL YOUR FEELINGS OUT? DON'T DO IT ON ME.
IF THERE'S ANYTHING YOU ARE UNHAPPY WITH ME ABOUT (BECAUSE I KNOW THERE SURE ARE LOADS), THEN EXPLAIN IT.
DON'T MORPH IT ALL INTO YOUR SHOUTINGS WHICH I DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND.
Put it out simply in a FUCKING CIVILISED, i emphasize on the CIVILISED, NORMAL, UN-MENTAL, POLITE AND RESPECTFUL manner that I actually would BOTHER to listen to and digest.
SHOUTING AND YAPPING AWAY ABOUT HOW MISERABLE YOU ARE DOESN'T FUCKING SOLVE ANYTH.
YOU have to take the fucking first step to DO SOMETHING to SOLVE your problems.
I'M SURPRISED THAT YOU HAVEN'T FIGURED THAT OUT YOURSELF YET. WTF.
crazy shouting crow


You always make me feel so unappreciated.

You called me useless again today. well what's new.
But LOL, that fucking CHEEK of yours. To call me useless when i've made all that effort just to go all the way down to yck (and to search for your STUPID in the middle of nowhere house) to wish you a fucking happy birthday.
EVERYONE HAS A BREAKING POINT. EVERYONE HAS A LIMIT.
AND I CAN'T STAND, KEEPING ALL OF THIS NFDLHCGJRELNESGLMGFLIGNHLNHGFSLGHLGEHGFLHGEUIGEHUGEHUGRELHGERULGEUHGUIELHGULIGHLGRHUGLUEHGALUGHURELHMCWALMU;CQOE FEELINGS IN ANYMORE.
I'M REALLY GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE because i'm fat.
WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING CHILDISH. WHY?????? WHY CAN'T YOU GROW UP?

I JUST REALLY, REALLY WISH. That ONE DAY, just ONE FINE DAY, you would take the time and sit down and do some ACTUAL SELF-REFLECTION.
I'M SURE you've done it before, but you did it all wrong.
YOU'VE DEFINITELY 'REFLECTED' WITH THE IDEA THAT WHAAATTEEVVVVEEERRRR YOU DO IS RIGHT. WELL NO THAT'S NOT REFLECTION.
THAT'S MORE LIKE SELF-COMFORT/CONVINCING.
well. BULLSHIT.
Just stop thinking that you're right all the time. GOODNESS. YOU ARE ALSO HUMAN. YOU'RE NOT GOD. OMG!!!!!
we ALL mistakes. And when someone actually takes the time and gives you their fucking 2 cents to KINDLY AND POLITELY AND MAYBE EVEN GRACIOUSLY explain to you that you did something wrong, LISTEN, INSTEAD OF RAGING AND GOING ALL YAP YAP YAP YAP BITCH BLABLABLA FUCK HER BLABLABLA. OMGGGGGG -.-
the world does NOT revolve around YOU.
IT DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND ANY INDIVIDUAL. IT JUST REVOLVES.
IT SIMPLY JUST REVOLVES, OMG!!!#$%$^$^%#$@#

I'm not saying you've to live up to everyones expectations and be what the world wants you to be.
DON'T FUCKING MISUNDERSTAND.
just take a fucking step down from your bloody glorious little diamond pedestal and OPEN UP YOUR EYES. AND YOU WONDER WHY YOUR LIFE IS SO FUCKED UP.
I CAN'T EVEN.