Life is so unfair.

Gonna go for a job interview at Somerset tonight. (not gna state where)
sigh, hope tht i get the job.
I'm way too pampered for my own good. Gotta start earning my own money,
and standing on my own two feet.
Gosh there's 16 year olds in the US saving up to buy their own cars wtf..
and I'm here being 18 still depending on my allowance. -_- this is bad.
shame on you bella.
anyway, this is a start. I guess. I can do this.
How hard can working be, right? yes? no?
I'll answer that question after I've experienced my first day of work,
LOL.


Anyway, enough about tht.
I dropped another 2kg. I'm not too sure if I should be happy about it or not.
losing weight this quickly is f-ing unhealthy. hah.
ohwell...but yeah, I am happy about it.
but I feel kinda lost now tho. I mean I've already reached my target weight,
and even went past it. so now what.
By just staying at this weight I'm feeling like it's not good enough, LOL.
this is crazy. I can't keep losing and losing either wtf bella what do you wanna be like 20 kg?
Crazy woman.


Oh and I am obsessed with ricky martin's song titled 'Bella'
HAHAHAHAHA THE IRONY.
And no it's not because it has my name in it.
christ he has a boyfriend and two sons (sigh the world's lost another beautiful guy to the crooked society)
but it's sooooo. It's just so nice and addictive.
Especially the spanish version.
and, sidenote: I still would fcuk him (Regardless of how not-straight he is now) I still would. Yeap.


K and I am guilty. So guilty. I did something very wrong recently.
Way too indebted to my boyfriend...ugh.
this sucks.
I don't really know what to do to correct that foolish mistake/make it up to him.
Cuz frankly speaking nothing can actually correct it now.
It's not cheating or lying or anything of that sort. christ no.
Just a big big mistake that's probably going to cost him alot and fuck his future up.
Why am I such a stupid person.
I'm just like this big fucking burden. My actions eventually gets everyone around me into trouble.
Almost ALL the time. wtf. urgh.