There's always two sides to everything.

Dear Baby,

How are you? I hope you're doing good up there with God. Mummy and Daddy are fine, missing you so very much, every passing day. We really do.

There's so many things that I want to share with you. When we first got the news that you were gonna be a part of our lives, we were overjoyed.
I don't know how to put into words, the extent of the happiness we felt at that point of time, when we knew we had you.
We want you to understand that, you are loved, so loved, from the point we knew of your existence, even though you've never had the chance to come into this world, you were and still are loved, and truly missed every second of the day.
I miss you my little angel.

I will never know how it feels to hold you in my arms. I won't know how you sound, or how you look, whether you'd be shy like Daddy or talkative like me....or whether you'd love me back the same.
Would you have grown up to hate me if I had brought you into this world, would you have held it against me?
I will never hear your laugh or cry, I'll never know how you sound.
Would you have been happy to have us, if we'd given you life despite being incapable of supporting you?
Did we make the right decision? We are sorry, we always will be. We are both devastated that we'll never get to meet you.
How can I make you understand?
The world is a beautiful place that you would have loved if you were here. But we would not have been able to show you the beauty it beholds. There wouldn't have been a bright future ahead of you and we wouldn't have been able to give you much.

I don't even know how to truly love myself yet. I haven't accepted myself, I'm still haunted by my past and my insecurities. I'm sorry that you had to pay the price for my recklessness. I did what I felt was best for you and us, yet to this day I still don't know if my decision was right.
When people who haven't been in my shoes talk about this, most of them say I'm wrong. They don't understand, do they? They wouldn't, till it happens to them, and that's okay.
But I wasn't going to keep you here and bring you into this world to suffer, just because of words from mouth that speaks from second-hand judgment through tinted lenses.
I felt that it'd be more cruel to have given you life without being able to provide you with even the most basic of needs, than to prevent that from happening at all.

People would say, 'But why would you kill your own baby?' 'You asked for it and got yourself into this, now accept the consequences and raise your child' 'You're a murderer'.

And should I have kept you, what would it be then? 'Why would you bring a child into this world when you can't even support yourself on your own two feet yet?' 'Your future and life is ruined'
I'm sorry to quote such words. You are innocent.
And this I hope you'd understand too, that my future and life meant nothing to me when I decided not to let you into this world, it was yours that was of my utmost concern, your future which would have been dim, your life which would not have been great or happy with minimal sense of security, no home of your own with us, not being able to give you everything you wanted, not knowing how to love you right.
Your future and life would have been horrible, and that was what mattered to me, only that itself.
I'm so sorry.

I can never deny that with every passing day, I think about you, and although I know I made what I felt was the best decision, I regret it.
I regret my recklessness. I regret letting that even happen, allowing the opportunity for such a decision to be made happen. It could have all been prevented, but I was stupid and careless. And you had to pay for it.
I'm sorry.
I'm trying to forgive myself for it, because I know deep in my heart that I made a mistake and I did what was best to solve it.
But I'd never know for sure, you know what I mean?
I'd never know.