trying.

Yknow ive never believed tht anyone would have the ability to make me wish to die so badly. never.
Ive always known i was a strong girl. I know that I am. I never understood why throughout the past year ive been wishing for death so so badly.
Its so hard to face myself in the mirror everyday thinking that hell or heaven would feel so much better.
And so heartbreaking to have tried time and again but failed. Every single time before I try, I think about my mum and dad, and all my friends whos been here with me and showed so much love and concern.
If i were to be gone I need to let them know how much i appreciate every single little thing theyve done for me and how much I love all of them too.
I dont hate anyone I could never actually hold hatred for a person. Though I gossip alot, I laugh at and I bitch but I dont mean any of all that I swear. In my heart I dont. I judge, I have my doubts and judgments but at the end of the day even if someone whos hurt me and torn me down, anyone, if they needed a helping hand I would never hesitate to lend one.
I believe we should all be like that. I believe the world truly is beautiful regardless of how ugly some people seem. By ugly, I mean on the inside. In their heart. They may seem like the ugliest and cruelest of all but I strongly believe people are all beautiful. Some are just misunderstood. Too hurt. Too insecure. Too full of hatred towards certain matters abt certain things in life.
No one would ever be able to let go of their own problems completely. People call me naive but I dont think so. As much as I seem so and sometimes I do feel like I am, naiveity in my point of view is just shallow. I know bad things happen there really are bad people. Murderers rapists etc. But nothing happens without a reason. If we could all just show a little understanding love and forgiveness. The world would be such a better place.