#Day 1. Ugly.

I feel so ugly.

Just so horribly ugly. I look at the people around me and all of them are better.

I want to look good. 

I want to look like that girl. 

I want to look just like her I want her figure I want that shape I want to be skinny.

I want to be beautiful like her too. 

People keep saying beauty comes from within. That inner beauty is what's important and blahblahblah.

It's just like oh shut up. I don't need you to feed me that crap. 

I've heard it one too many times, lol.

I want to see my collar bones pop. 

I want my legs to look like chopsticks.

I hate my body image.

I hate all these fats.

People keep telling me tht i'm just chubby. tht it's cute and blahblahblah.

Shut your crap up. It's enough.

This is certainly not cute. And no i'm not seeking your fking comfort if that's what you're thinking.

When I say I'm ugly, I'm telling it to myself. Not to you.

It's not like I asked you 'hey am i ugly?'

But if you're annoyed, please do be annoyed. Be my guest because you should be in the first place.

Idk why it's so unfair either.

No, i don't torture myself. Neither do I gorge myself or stuff myself with large amounts of food since i was young.

I never did so.

But I was just so fat.

I was fat my whole life.

I know how I look. And I hate it.

It's disgusting, horrible, sickening, gross, unacceptable, ugly. Just plain yuck.

Yeah that's right. That's absolutely 101% right.

Nothing is going into my body from today onwards.

Nothing. Except water which is free of cals and fats.

Other than water. Nothing. else.

Because I deserve this. How could I let this happen to myself and let myself look like that?

Ew.

Starting today. No food.

0calories perday. And if I have to eat. It has to come out.

This is the only way.