Missing someone.

Hellooo there. Hahahah been forever since i've posted aights? Well, am back to blogging again, heh.

Anyways. I am going to blog about someone that means the world to me.

Well, I haven't seen him or heard any news from him at all for 10 days, if ya'll were wondering why I keep whining on my fb about missing someone, lol. He was sent into th lockup at cantonment on the 28th, for having someone elses IC with him.

Up till now, i haven't heard from him at all. Been calling his phone every single day, its always off, texting him every single day, no replies, nothing.

Imagine if this suddenly happens those of you tht are attached out there? Can you imagine th pain? Of course it isn't th worst tht could happen, but it really hurts to have someone suddenly just disappear like that.

The feeling just hurts so bad you know? It's like, there's smth missing in you. There's something missing everyday. You just feel incomplete. Cliche as it sounds, but true.

When you're missing someone you tend to think of th good times you've had with him/her.

But when you're trying to forget someone, you think of th bad times you've had with him/her.

Especially cases where you're trying to forget a person, when you were th one that threw th person away. Isn't it kinda dumb? You threw him/her away, yet you still have to try to forget him/her. Whaaat?

Agreed? (: Why else would you miss somebody? Be it love for your boyfriend, friendship love, family love, teacher-student love blahblah. When you miss someone, it shows that you love them and care for them in one way or another. No? And you just wouldn't stop thinking about them, wondering how they're doing.

Kelvin and I has been together for a year and a half, would be a year and a half this month's 22nd. And these are a few of the last pictures we took together a day before he got sent into lockup. His name is Kelvin and he's the most wonderful guy I've ever met, despite his gazillion flaws.

We've had alot of up's and down's, five break's and patch's, and alot of disagreements about the most ridiculous things. Like who gets the last scoop of ice cream. ._.

But I guess that's just why we love each other, haha.

He's funny, smart, understanding, and just everything that I love and hate.

Clever, greedy, grumpy, self centered. Yes he is. But I love it. If he weren't, that's just not him anymore. He is beautiful. Haha, I bet im boring you guys going on and on about my boyfriend? Sorry, bear with me, this isn't th point of why I'm posting this.

Wonder if any of you out there has experienced anything like this before? Because I could rly use someone to talk to now, lol. Sure, when I go out with my friends, I laugh I smile, and for a moment sometimes, I really do forget about everything. But once things get silent, like those moments where no one is talking, he would just pop into my head. I start thinking about how my dear is, whether he's safe, where he is, what he's doing, blabla..And its just. Unexplainable. Th feeling of missing him yet not knowing where the fuck he is or anything about how he is at all.

He was th one and only shoulder I had to cry on and could tell everything to. Get what I mean? I spent almost every single day of my life for over a year with him.

Well, to all you attached couples out there. Please cherish your loved ones. You never know when anything might happen at all, it would just happen out of the blue. Just BAM like a slap in your face, when you least expect it. And tht can really make you crumble.

Th bright side of this though, its a lesson learnt for me to learn how to cherish and appreciate, because I admit, I never really did cherish him 100% . There's always this thought tht goes 'Ah fuck it, fight now then fight now lor, he will come back and say sorry later anyways. I'll just walk away now.' And there I go off like a pms-crazed bitch walking away from him with my bitch-ass attitude. I so regret. Word of advice, NEVER, for a second think that way girls. Don't take him for granted. Don't take the times that you have to spend with him for granted. If I could take those moments back now, where we fought, which was 80% of th time, I would just shut my big ass mouth and suck up my fucked up attitude, and just enjoy his company. Having th company of your loved one, is more than enough. Don't be greedy. Don't set your expectations too high. Being able to be with them, have them by your side, and most of all being able to hear them say 'I love you' , to you, is way more than enough. I am glad though, that I've had the chance to spend at least one year and five months of my life with him, though he's not here now. But I do believe he would come back. And I will wait patiently. Just think of those people out there, that has loved ones that would never come back to their side forever? That has passed on? How are they feeling? They would never see them again, ever. All they can do, is miss them. And think of the memories.

Look at photographs and watch videos. Walk into their room, sit on their bed and hug their clothes.

How painful, is that....?

No matter what they say or do, no matter how much they give, its gone.

And yet most of us are here whining about little fights and disputes with our partners.

What's happening now feels like a voice yelling 'YOU GONNA CHERISH HIM NOW BITCH?!" in my face. And my answer would be yes, I am. I so am going to cherish every single second I have with him in the future, if I do get to see him again which I really hope I would.

Just wanted to tell all you guys and girls out there, to appreciate. Be giving, and at the same time forgiving. Be generous, and understanding. Girls especially- Don't throw fusses over little lame things, and learn to trust him. Stop being paranoid, if he loves you, then he loves you. fullstop.

It really isn't worth it, at all when you lose everything tht you once had.

When you lose it all, and he or she moves on, all you can do is miss it. You can try to get it back, but honestly, you know it too, it would never be the same when one of you has already moved on.

Whereever you are my dearest, I do hope that you're safe, doing okay, and taking care of yourself.

I will be waiting.. I love you.

Kay, next part of this post.

Met riley and my bitch at X-gaming at bedok-inter today morning, chitchatted and puffed for awhile, and off those two piggies went to dreamland. -____________-

So...off i went to do my hair while they snooze! :D HAHAHA.

Got it dyed and striaghtened, planned to get my hair bleach but backed out in the end \: . A hairdresser's warning about your hair dying/becoming like straw/becoming crispy after bleaching can really freak the hell out of people -.- . Anyways, it was supposed to be a copperish brown but there isn't much difference \: off flies my 69bucks~ ):

Anyways, by then my contact lenses was seriously killing my eyes. Had to take them off and deal with looking like crap for the whole day. BUT ITS OKAY! A PAIR OF SHADES CAN ALWAYS SAVE TH DAY, TEEHEEHEEEEEE, thats why a girl must always carry shades around~

Dined at macs with Riley and my bitchy, and that riley was oh-so-sweet to treat us to our lunchie. :3 THANKS RILEYYYYYY. (:

And off we went to follow Riley to dye his hair! Haha but in the end, he cut it instead.

*Evil snigger, all his long hair is gone. Thanks to me and bitchy. :B yay us. And we were being bitches at him the entire time when he was whining while his hair was getting chopped, LOL.

K but I swear Riley looked better afterwards, THANKS TO US LIKE-A-DUHHH TEEHEE,

And sigh, I really gotta get my camera back from my mums house at yishun soon. \: Or it's really gonna be a hassle for me to blog!

After Riley's hair was ~beautified~ , off we went to catch 'the devil inside' at century square.

Wasn't exactly what I thought the movie would be like, rate it 3.5/5 . It actually turned out to be a documentary. Overall it was not bad, quite interesting and quite alot of shocking scenes!

A 'should' watch! (: And once again, Riley treated us to the movie, popcorn and hotdogs. Ain't he a sweetheart?

The movie lasted about 1hr40min I think, it really didn't feel like 2 hours. Then off we went for supper. I swear we ate like pigs haha, and ONCE AGAAAAIN, RILEY TREATED US TO OUR FOOD. :3 SWEETHEART RIGHT?

Me and my banmian teeheehee.

Took a puff, and off we went to bus back home. (: I really enjoyed myself today, managed to get my mind off things for awhile, (Y) . Thank you Riley for everything. (:

Alrightty, it's getting really late, I should try sleeping. My body clock is 100+1% screwed.

I've been sleeping at 8 in th morning all th way till 5 in the noon lately. Ikr, ikrrrrrr. |:

Haha, I'll post a real post about something tomorrow. (: Lets just wait and see what inspires me, kay, bai peepools!