Another new year.

Why hello peeepies! <3 hahahah,

Well, it's new years eve today. Really wish I could spent it with my dearest,

but I guess family's more important. Spending it with my mum now (:

Enjoying heineken with her now, heh. A relaxed simple new year.

): Totally not me. Anyhoos.

Would be great if kelvin could spend it with my mum and I too, but dear has got to get home too.

Sigh..):

Anyway. Today was quite okay. Waited for dear to reach yishun in the morning.

And I swear, I seriously hate it when i get into stupid no point fights with my boyfriend -.-

Gosh. Especially when my mood is like unstable.

Fuckin wanna break up at the moment but also fuckin dont wanna break up, like wtf.

Then you just feel like slapping the shit out of your boyfriends dumbfuckface, no? ell-o-elle.

Had a cold war in the bus with him.

HATE IT. -.- smartass thinks hes always right, psh. I'll show him who the fucks right here >:c!

Hah anywaysss, both our moods was cooled down after the bus ride from yishun to bedok,

then things were fine.

Lamezzzzzzzzzzzz.

Got ourselves water first then bused down to Stevie's place~!

I swear stevies room is cool! He has a freakin DJ set. LOL.

Dear was so interested in it -.- lawl. I miss my baby now. ):

Anyway, slacked at th flowerpot's place with edwin until noon, then kelvin and I went to get dinner on our own at the coffee shop opposite. Piccies~

Stevieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :D :
Hahahah purposely wna show off his hair in th pic, obvious mucha.

Piccies with my honey,

EDWWWWWWWWWWWWWIN AHAHAHAH FROGGY! <3

This guy's the best brother I ever had, and the kindest, sweetest guy I ever met.

Though he's a bitch at times. HAHAAHAHAHA.

Never wanna lose this fucker in my life. <:

More piccies~

K that's all th photo's (: the quality of th pics sucks cos it's taken with my iphone,

sucky ): Can't wait to get my usb cable, :B bear with me.

Anyway's, its 12:29 so HAPPY LATE NEW YEAR! :D

2011's gone its 2012 nao. :D

Haha hope this year would be a waaaaaay better year than 2011.

So full of drama and bullshit.

K thats about all, bai peeps! Enjoy your new year and wish everyone good health and a great year ahead. (:

Updates! <:

Well hi! :D

I know I promised a photos update but sadly my usb cable still isnt with me as i'm still staying with my mum in yishun >:

Most of my stuff is in pasir ris at my dads place.

Sigh but I promise I'll update with photos once I get back home to pasir ris ): Sorry!!!

For now though theres piccies from my iphone though,

gotta make do with that bobian. ):

Heehee.

Anyways!

I'm waiting for baby to reach yishun from bedok right now,

so so bored. Rawrz.

Thank god hes not taking th stupid bus.

I swear I was in 854 from bedok to yishun for ONE AND HALF hours last night,

nearly frickin threw up..goshhhhhhh. ):

Hate long bus rides, makes me damn carsick ):

Anyways~

Dear came down to yishun to find me two days ago.

Thats his jacket I'm wearing! :B HAHA! It looks damn huge on me. LOL.

We were supposed to go to ben's house at night to drink, but sadly dear couldn't make it.

He had to get home \: so in the end I didn't go either.

So yesterday, went down to bedok to find my dear.

And when I reached I couldn't call through his phone,

kept hearing the three beeps whenever I called so I dumbly thought it was off.

I totally forgot tht when a phones off it would go THE SINGTEL MOBILE CUSTOMER IS NOT AVAILABLE~BLABLABLABLA.

So I didn't text.

So i went up to his door to shout his name.

Then, his mum was home. And got scolded upside down -.-

Then she told me she wasn't going to let him come out already since she knows hes meeting me,

and told that I can go back home now?

Wtf? -___-

I swear, i fuckin hate his mum..no offens or disrespect meant baby.

But I, ME, MYSELF just really fucking hate her ttm. \:

Had to wait for baby outside his door for over an hour. .__.'' Was bored and pissed to death.

Then when he finally came out, dined at yoshinoya at bedok point,

then off to chaichee to slack.

Went up to EDWIN THE FROGGGGG'S housey, met him cheryl emily and this other girl and guy,

not too sure who they are, slacked for awhile then off home!

Simple day, and my mood was kinda bad \:

The long bus ride home didn't help, at all -.-

Sighhh.

They look like a gay couple, no? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

K anyways. That's about all. (:

All the photos are in my camera ): fml. Will update the photos very soon, promise.

K i'm sneezing like crazy. I think I'm getting sick ):

OH YES, and btw, i've been so addicted to this song of tyler's,

although it is quite old but omg, he's just soooooo...(: <3

Listen to it peeps, and just look at how he puts his heart into it. (': Lovely.

HAHAHAAHAHAH! K,

Anyhoos, ciaoooociaociaociao!

Family issues-

Those out there who lives with parents that are seperated/divorced/single-parented,

or who's grown up without a mum or dad.

The feeling is terrible yeah?

I'm not single parented, but my parents were seperated when I was sec 1.

It's been 5 years, but it still feels just as painful and hard.

I'm always trying to avoid these thoughts, but of course, how is it possible.

Holding back tears and faking a smile becomes easier to do as each day passes.

But the pain never gets less.

I don't know if anyone would understand anything I'm saying now.

Hahahahh but at least I do.

I bet those who's got parents that are seperated, and actually cares (which would be almost all I guess. Who can not care about their parents?) would have th times where they flip through old family photographs where everyone was happy.

Where they had a happy family.

With a mum and dad that loved each other so much.

I sound like I'm so full of self pity \:

but that period's over for me. I don't pity myself.

This happened for a reason, and I'm actually thankful for it.

Theres just nobody I can really talk to about this.

Obviously not my parents. Not my mums boyfriend, though we are close.

Friends and my boyfriend would just be..idontknow. Just feels wrong.

I dont know why but it just does.

I just want to see my mum happy again.

I can't be sure if she was happy with my dad before at all. \:

Cos if she was, I guess this wouldn't have happened. But I have seen her happy before.

Truly happy.

And ever since all this happened, there was never a time I actually saw her truly,

genuinely, smiling. It breaks my heart to see her like tht.

Same goes for my dad.

I'm always seeing th both of them so miserable.

It's so obvious that they still love each other. Why don't they just get back together?

Easy to say, but way too late to even try to do.

They both had already 'moved on.'

Found someone new.

I think my mum just doesn't want to, maybe because she doesn't love him anymore.

Which I doubt. But because she also loves her boyfriend now and can't hurt him.

And also doesn't wna get hurt, again by stepping back. |':

I'm not rly in a position to say much.

As i'm only their daughter..this is between them.

But it was so sudden when it happened.

There isn't a day tht goes by where I wish that they would just turn back and hug each other again.

Smile, and laugh happily together again.

Sometimes I even feel embarrased about it.

To be a child of two people that is like, not even happy together.

Things would be much easier if I wasn't born. For them.

If I could I would unborn myself just so that it'd be way easier for their lives now, being seperated.

I hate seeing my mum and dad depressed.

I swear I put my mum before myself.

We all should put our mums before ourselves. They do exactly the same thing for us.

Hang on I gotta smoke. ):

K hi. Haha winston xstreme mint is nice.

Anyway. Im sure our parents have love songs they sung to each other when they were together, no? Well, maybe some has some doesn't.

Mine had plentyyyy. Haha and whenever you go out.

And those old classic love songs just plays in some random store.

It's just real upsetting yeah? And many thoughts just runs through your mind.

\: it feels terrible.

Dont know about you guys, but my parents, are the first two people that are capable of hurting me most in the world. They mean the most to me.

Then my boyfriend.

Then my relatives.

Then my friends.

Why the fk am i shivering omg. But I don't really feel cold.

Wait do I feel cold? K whatever.

Anyways.

Throughout these five years, my mum has found a second someone tht loves her dearly, I believe.

My dad hasn't. He's found many. But I know he doesn't love any of them, at all.

He's just lonely.

I really wanna hug him everyday, give him a kiss and tell him I love him.

But I never have the guts to approach him after pushing him away for so many years.

Get what I mean?

I dont know why..

Same thing for my grandma too.

In th past few years, i've said and done so many things that's disappointed and hurt them.

I've said that I don't love them, hate them, and honestly felt that way too.

But no. I do love them.

I was just being a childish selfish brat, thinking tht they are supposed to understand, and that they deserve it after what they've done. yknow? But I would take that all back if I could.

I know they forgive me for that, they understand that I don't mean it.

And I'm so fucking happy and feel so fucking damn lucky that they forgive me and never push me away as I did to them.

They never push or throw me away.

Our parents would never do that to us, no matter what they say or how they act.

They will ALWAYS love us.

Always.

I guess I'll just stop here..I don't have much more to say \:

haha. Just had to let alot of feelings out.

I'm going to make a change about this.

I've realised alot, and started understanding alot more.

Ive still got much more to learn.

I love my parents.

We all should tell and show them how much we love them, before it's too late.

They won't live forever, but they will give us all their love in their entire lifetime.

We should too. heh.

baii.

When it's not worth dying for.

Hello! (: Time to update this blooooggieeee.
Have been so addicted to haoxinfenshou recently heheheh,
although its a super oldddd song. Anyway. :D
Had a photoshoot at ecp recently, had lotsa fun!
It was my first shoot and I swear I love it.
Though the outfit I had to wore was super shot, but made so wit it.
Thanks Xavien ((: he's a nice guy and real friendly.
Piccies~

Just gonna upload these cos blogger's taking forever. \:
Screw the internet at my mum's place, it sucks. ):
Anyyyyways. Life has been the same. So boring as always.
Meeting my babyboy everyday, heh.
Waiting for him to wakeup and call me right nao, I swear he's sucha pig.
Just like me :B HAHA.

I've got another shoot coming up soon, but I'm not sure if I really wanna do it or not. \:

Kinda afraid of getting scammed or meeting pervs and whatnot.

Hmmm gonna discuss with baby and my mum abt it first, hear some opinions.

Anyway's, once baby reaches here we're gonna slack for a while then meet ben to drink tonight!

It's been forever since I've touched alcohol.

Stoked! (Y)

And did I mention that Tyler Ward is my new freakin' idollll~~~?

If you say he's not cute, you're blind. or stupid. or something.

HES GORGEOUS, AHHH GAHHHHGAHHHH HAHAHAHAHAH shitshitshitshit! ^v^ *blush.

HAAHAHAHAHAHAH!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=r6zpLcdfYj0

just listen to his songs peepooooool.

You can just feel him getting to you.

You can just. Feeeeeeeeeeeel him. (LOL).

K wtv.

Yay baby just called me ^^ he fell aslp on th bus and took it all the way to yishun. LOL kcute.

He's going to reachie soon hehe and I think i'll end off my post here.

I know its kinda boring, and worst full of tylers pics. HAHAH but hey,

must love my idol too k ppl,

he's not only handsome and all but his personality is dang adorable.

Hehe kbaibai!

Pictures update in next post, promise ;)